When jealousy is under control, it might be considered proof of how deeply you love your partner. In truth, it is an indicator of something deeper and it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
It could actually be a sign of a real problem and a lack of confidence in yourself and in your partner. Sometimes jealousy isn’t much different from paranoia! In a healthy and balanced relationship, you don’t breathe down your partner’s neck, you don’t keep them from seeing their friends, and you don’t freak out about what they’re wearing or about receiving a text from someone you don’t know.
The worst thing is that it’s making you suffer and your happiness is turning into doubt, fear and anxiety. So in order to stop experiencing such painful things, in order to stop being jealous and to bring back the satisfying and fulfilling relationship that you had always dreamed of, I invite you to closely read what is about to follow.
1. Monitor Your Thoughts
We can't always control our emotions. Feelings slip in and out, often before we've fully realized where they're coming from or how we might react to them. While you might not be able to stop yourself from feeling jealous, you can monitor your thoughts and be on the lookout for any indications that the little green monster is about to take over.
Monitoring your thoughts allows you to catch jealousy early, whereas trying to convince yourself that you're not jealous or ignoring your envious feelings only limits you from predicting and, hopefully, halting your reaction. Being on the lookout for jealous feelings allows you to get in front of them and control what might happen next, instead of making things worse by letting your envy run unchecked.
(Aladdin via Walt Disney Pictures)
3. Imagine How You Would Feel If the Situation Were Reversed
Jealousy often leads to a lot of negative behaviors in a relationship. You might throw wild accusations at your partner that can impact your communication, you might become manipulative and withdrawn or you might even start to create rules for how your partner should behave. Before you allow jealousy to dictate the future of your relationship, think about how you would feel if the situation were reversed.
If your partner suddenly demanded that you not speak to the dude in your math class, or if they randomly served you with the silent treatment until you were practically begging for their forgiveness, it's understandable that you would be pretty upset. Think about how you would want to be treated and show your partner that same courtesy, instead of allowing your envious emotions to complicate and potentially ruin your relationship.