Let me paint a picture for you.
You just moved to the city of your dreams. It’s big, vibrant and full of possibility. The weather is amazing. The food is SO good. You’re living the dream except one thing keeps bothering you: your Friday nights suck.
You spend them alone and bored out of your mind. You WANT to go out, but you don’t even know where to start.
This was my exact situation a few years ago.
I’d just moved to New York City and had ZERO friends. After too many boring Friday nights, I finally learned how to make new friends and meet more people.
Today, I want to share what I learned in those first couple years in a new city.
Even if you aren’t new to a city — maybe you’re starting a new job or a new semester at school — these techniques still apply to you.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
- 3 sure-fire ways to break the ice and get an authentic conversation started with anybody
- Why small talk is not BS and how it can help you have better more meaningful conversations
- A simple but effective game to get over the nervousness of meeting new people
1. Talk to New People
One thing people naturally when going foreign is sticking to people from our own country, which is nothing to be ashamed of, but to get the full experiences, talk to locals.
Ok, Don’t talk to every stranger you meet on the street!! But anyone that you see that looks your age, looks nice and friendly, anyone obviously travelling to. If people are shy, you are the conversation starter. Once you get over the awkward ”How are you?” ”Weathers nice?” ”Where are you from?”, the conversation will start flowing and before you know it you’ve made a friend. At social gatherings, talk to as many different people as you can, the more the merrier. Different people of all different cultures and from different places will expand your mind and teach you a lot more knowledge. Don’t be shy, this helps you how to make new friends abroad.
3. Join a club
The best thing you could do to make friends is to join a club or society. If you are doing an Erasmus, the college will have hundreds of different clubs and societies for you to join and if your working, there is still a lot of clubs and volunteer works to join. Go out of your comfort zone with joining clubs, see what you enjoy and what you don’t enjoy, you will be surprised at what you’re good at. There is so many clubs of so many random things and a great way in immersing yourself in life in the place and making friends. With sports clubs, It doesn’t matter whether you understand the local language or not at all, you do not get in the way when training.
4. Follow leads
If someone from work or college asks you to go for drinks after- say yes!! If someone says they know someone in the same city you are in, follow it up. If someone asks would you like to join a club or organization- check it out. Don’t shelter yourself in doing things because they’re not familiar. That was the point of going travelling, to not be the person you are at home. Follow the leads and see where it takes you. If nothing, it was still an experience
5 Don’t Panic
The last tip of “How to make new friends abroad” is:
If you feel like your going away and you’re going to be alone for the whole time, don’t worry, you are not the first person who has felt that way. Give yourself time to adapt to your new surroundings and it will all fall into place. (Rome wasn’t built in a day). Just remember why you chose to do this experience. Leaving your family, friends and everything familiar is a brave thing to do.
JUST REMEMBER TO ENJOY YOURSELF
Did you like? How to make new friends abroad!
Cork, Ireland, Learning, Partnership International Blog, Travel Tips, Useful InformationTags: Discovering Ireland, Friends, Internship, internship abroad, Moving, Partnership International, Training Internships
How to keep any conversation flowing
Ok, now that you know how to start a conversation, here’s how you can keep a conversation going by making small talk.
You might think small talk is a bunch of BS, but it’s the KEY to all good conversations.
Have you ever been in a situation where you meet someone, and it’s brutally awkward making small talk? Either you are stumbling over your words, or they are just uncomfortable talking to you. Whatever the problem is, the conversation sucks, and both of you want to leave.
I want to show you how to completely avoid awkward situations like this.
In the clip below, I discuss the benefits of small talk and give you a couple of tactics to help you strike up a conversation that doesn’t make you want to poke your eyes out.
Key takeaway: Small talk is key to keeping a conversation going. We may think that it’s a waste of time, and we’d rather just get to the point of the conversation, but in reality we are comforted by a long set of rituals. Like, “How are you, my name is Ramit,” etc.
In other words, play the game. Get good at small talk and you will see your conversations improve drastically.
Use this game to push past anxiety and make meeting people FUN
Now that I’ve given you exact scripts to use when you first meet someone, it’s time to put those scripts to the test. Enter the 60-Seconds Game.
The reason this game works is that it doesn’t give you a chance to get anxious or nervous. It actually forces you to quickly get out there and simply start talking to someone.
Here are the rules: Within 60 seconds of walking into an event, a coffee shop, or anywhere else you choose, go up to someone and introduce yourself. Use the scripts from above to get you started.
The ONLY rule is that you must do it within 60 seconds, before your anxiety can get the best of you.
Key takeaway – The benefits of this game are twofold:
- Because it’s a game, you almost trick yourself into doing it. This short circuits all the negative self-talk/doubts.
- Because you have to do it within 60 seconds, there is no time to get nervous and back out. If you practice this game enough times, you eventually train yourself to be totally comfortable talking to new people all the time.