Today’s advice question comes from a girl named Ali, who writes:
This year I transferred to public school. There’s a boy who I’ve known my entire life, and lucky me, he ended up in my class. He’s so cute!
All the girls like him, so I want to get his attention. There have been a few sparks between us, but I’m not sure if he likes me. How can I tell if he does, and how can I get his attention?
Hi Ali! Let me first get this out of the way….SQUEEEE!!! That’s awesome that your crush ended up in your class. I’m so excited for you!
Now, onto your two questions….
Luckily, I’ve already written a long list of ways to know if your crush is into you, so that’s the answer to your first one!
As for the second question, about how to get his attention, this is a HIGHLY scientific process that I’ve refined over YEARS of research. In fact, I am SO confident in this process that I’ve even given it a name: The 2-Step Magnet Plan.
Why “Magnet Plan,” you ask? Because if you follow these steps EXACTLY as I’ve outlined them, I guarantee you’ll be like a refrigerator and he’ll be like your last report card…totally stuck on you!
(Okay, to be honest, that’s not entirely true. I can’t really guarantee that, but it’s an awesome line for my marketing plan, if I decide to put my highly scientific process into a book, right? Back to the advice…)
The 2-Step Magnet Plan:
1. Treat him like a friend.
No, I don’t mean that you should text him, “OMG, you looked SO cute in class today. Do YOU think you’re into me?” Don’t pretend he’s one of the girls!
I mean act like yourself around him…your REAL self. Laugh at the stuff you usually laugh at. Bring up stuff you’re actually interested in, not stuff you think he wants to hear about.
Be totally, completely YOU. Cute boys are used to girls acting weird and flirty around them, and I think it actually makes them kind of uncomfortable.
What they REALLY want is to hang out with fun, laid back girls who aren’t all caught up in their head trying to be noticed. And believe me, if you don’t TRY to be noticed, you will be!
2. Ask him about himself.
Here’s a secret to not just guys, but people in general: EVERYONE likes to talk about themselves!
Think about all the times your grandmother has told you boring stories that start with, “Back in my day…” and your mom has rambled on and on about how awesome she is at couponing. We’re all totally into ourselves!
But here’s another little secret: since EVERYONE likes to talk about themselves, it can be tough to find people who really like to listen, and not just pretend they’re listening while they’re ACTUALLY waiting to talk about themselves!
So ask him about the sports he plays, and the movies he likes, and anything else that he’s into. Then really listen! If he talks about something you’re not interested in, ask more questions to get to something that you don’t find mind-numbingly boring.
Remember: don’t pretend, at all!
The first step is SUPER important, so you never want to say, “Wow, that’s fascinating! Tell me more about the five hours you spent bird watching with your dad!” (Unless you secretly get all kinds of psyched just thinking about which bird has the most feathers, flies the fastest, and lays the largest egg!)
If you relax and be yourself around him, and show him you’re interested in getting to know him, he will DEFINITELY notice you!
And he’ll probably think, “Wow, that Ali’s so chill…and GREAT to talk to!” (Because we ALL think it’s great to talk about ourselves!)
What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Ali?