How to get to know someone

There are moments in which it would be great to know what goes through the head of another person. Sure, you’d pay for being able to get into the minds of certain people at some certain times.

More than knowing what happens into someone’s head at a precise time, you want to know what kind of person is in front of you.

We find it easier to predict how someone will behave when have experienced together many different situations.

This does not happen with people who we know more superficially.

Another situation that can occur when we are aware a person for many years, but we have not had a very close relationship. In practice, it becomes more or less the same. We do not know where we will go.

These cases are frequent with:

  • Workmates those who we only know in the workplace, and outside of work can be totally different.
  • Your neighbor of the 5th that maybe looks nice when you are crossing in the elevator, but really do not know what goes on behind the door of his house.
  • Distant family and several other acquaintances.
  • So many times we took a bad surprise to some people, with whom you think you can tell, but do not behave as you expect.

Questions to Get to Know Someone

How to shorten the time to get to know quicker a person

What you need to do is try to live all these experiences and situations that have lived with people who do know well and try to find it out during a conversation in the shortest time possible.

How?

Asking the right questions to give us that information.

Ask him/her about their relationships

Questions to Get to Know Someone

Knowing how he/she treat other people you can get an idea of how he/she is going to treat you. An important fact is to know how it is with his/her family (you’ll get to know if he/she has a family or is independent), although it is not an issue that many people would like to discuss with anyone. Keep that in mind.

It is also very important their body language and tone of voice when talking.

You can find topics such as:

If she/she has had conflicts If he/she has changed a lot of partners Has many friends How he/she speaks of them (with resentment, nostalgia affection, envy …)

Anything he/she says will give you information.

You can ask for example:

  • What do you value the most in friendship?
  • What time of your past do you remember most fondly?
  • What does friendship mean to you?
  • With which family member are you more united and why?
  • If you had to transform into one of your friends to whom would it be and why?
Related text  How to cook broccoli rabe

Further Reading: 10 Questions to Ask a Girl You Are in Love With

Make him/her tell you something about him/herself

Even if they do not want to answer some questions a little personal, that will also give you information. You know it’s impossible not to communicate, their silences also speak … It means that it is a reserved or shy person.

  • If you could invite to launch anyone the world, who would you choose?
  • On what topic or topics, you would never make jokes?
  • Do you have an object that would not trade for anything in the world?
  • What past mistake do you regret most?
  • What accomplishment are you most proud of?
  • What is the craziest thing you ‘ve ever done?
  • What’s on your bucket list?
  • What is your greatest irrational fear?
  • Which life would you choose? A rich life or a happy fulfilling life?
  • How do you deal with negative emotions?

Further Reading: 10 Questions A Guy Should Never Ask A Girl

Ask him/her about his/her dreamed lifestyle

Questions to Get to Know Someone

With this type of questions, you will be able to know someone’s deeper concerns. Perhaps they dream of going around the world or about going to live on a mountain in the middle of nowhere. Or they may prefer to stay in their lifetime neighborhood near their family.

You can also see if it is a person who fights for what he wants or is rather conformist.

  • What would be a perfect day for you?
  • Achievement for which you feel most proud of in your life?
  • Your ideal vacation?
  • If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Further Reading: 21 Intriguing Questions to Ask a Guy You Like

Ask about the money

Closely related to the above is the issue of money, because depending on what kind of life you want to take, you need to earn more or less.

Closely related to making money is the job of your dreams, and therefore the kind of life you want to lead. Your routine your day.

All we imagine in 10 years how will our lives, even those who already have a steady job.

Related text  How to count calories

If the other person wants to make many changes in your life, she will tell you that is not entirely comfortable with her current life or have other aspirations.

  • What personal object would hurt you more if you lose?
  • A perfect job for you is…?
  • You would never do for money, what?
  • If you win 5mil dollars tomorrow, how would you like to spend the rest of your life?

Further Reading: 10 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Ask what he thinks about the relationships

Questions to Get to Know Someone

The opinion of one person on relationships is formed mainly by their past experiences. If someone has done wrong, probably some resentment talks to the opposite sex, and highlight its negative features. And contrary, if it went well.

To use these questions can be fun on the first few dates, where you want to know quickly and thoroughly to the other person.

  • What is the quality you most appreciate about the opposite sex? And you hate the most?
  • Finish this sentence: “I wish I had someone to share …”
  • Will you forgive infidelity?
  • What is a relationship ‘deal breaker’ for you?

Further Reading: 10 Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend

General topics such as culture, politics, sports, religion …

You can ask about issues related to their hobbies, beliefs, his political leanings…

  • The last book you read?
  • Your favorite TV series?
  • What sports do you practice?
  • Are you a believer?
  • What political party did you vote in the last election?
  • Are you religious or spiritual?

Further Reading: 70 Most Likely to Questions

Existential questions

Questions to Get to Know Someone

Such deep questions are the most interesting and allow you the most to know someone. Some questions are also a bit intrusive and have to be done at the right time when the other person is comfortable. Help first to express your opinion. That makes your partner feel more comfortable and more open.

  • What would you like to remember you when you die?
  • When was the last time you cried?
  • What person has given you the best advice about your life?
  • If you could choose a superpower, what would it be?

Suggested Reading: 215 Questions To Get To Know Someone

If you take someone out of their comfort zone to discover things about him or her that you did not expect, certainly happen the same as with people you always see in the same situations.

Such questions give much information and spend a good time.

Related text  How to burn belly fat

Besides that, talking about topics of interest to both binds much.

How to Get to Know Someone: 5 Powerful Tips

In addition to providing you with a stellar list of questions to ask, we also included practical tips to help you get the most from them.

Here are 5 powerful tips to help you get to know someone:

Tip #1: Use the Right Getting to Know You Questions

Good Get to Know You Questions - Use The Right Getting To Know You Questions

There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy. As you learn how to get to know someone, you’ll realize that each individual requires a unique approach.

The questions you ask a new buddy are probably going to differ from the ones you ask a co-worker. Choose your questions wisely.

Tip #2: Begin with Conversation Starters

We’ve provided a solid list of conversation starters for you. Use them as openers.

Once you’ve had a few laughs or discussions based on those, you’ll be ready to move into funnier or deeper questions.

Start with surface-level conversation starters, and then dig deeper.

Tip #3: Know When to Use Deep Questions

Deep questions are powerful. They’re like conversation seeds that grow into friendships. However, planting them too soon can be problematic.

You don’t want to get too personal too fast. Wait until you feel you’ve bonded enough where asking deep questions isn’t going to seem too forward.

Trust your instincts.

Tip #4: Think About Your Responses

This isn’t a one-sided interrogation! Remember that the get to know questions you ask, are going to be asked back.

Don’t memorize answers to the questions, but it never hurts to think about what you’re going to say. Be prepared yet spontaneous.

Tip #5: Use These Get to Know You Questions Naturally

If you’re asking one rapid-fire question after another, your company is going to be a little confused. Use these getting to know you questions when necessary.

For example, if you’re waiting for dinner to show up and you’re sitting there in silence, that’s a perfect time to ask questions to get to know someone.

On the other hand, when dinner arrives and your company just took a bite, that’s probably not the best timing Pepper these getting to know you questions into your normal conversations naturally. Timing is everything.

Weekly Audio Coaching via Podcast

All past Carnegie Coach podcast episodes are available here.

Happy New Year

The weekly coaching guide will be on holiday next week Tuesday and will return January 6th. Have a wonderful start to 2015!

Like this post? Please share to your friends: