All those hours spent stood in the cold watching your ex play football/tedious lunches with their friends? They’re yours now. One of the most common excuses for not doing exercise is having no time, so now’s the perfect opportunity to get started.
2. It won’t make you feel guilty
Films and TV shows might suggest that eating a whole tub of ice cream, buying loads of stuff and getting horrendously drunk are they way to get over a broken heart.
While they’re pretty tempting methods of quick gratification, they’ll only leave you skint and hungover. Exercise, being healthy and (sometimes) free, will leave you feeling unexpectedly smug instead.
3. It gets you away from your phone/computer/any other stalking device
Anyone who claims they have the self-control not to track their ex on social media is a liar! If you feel yourself slipping into a stalk-spiral, take yourself out for a run, bike ride or similar, where you can find something else to think about – or at least make it harder to continue scrolling.
4. It can make your brain feel better
Studies have shown that rejection stimulates areas in the brain associated with physical pain. The chemicals released from moderate exercise could do a lot to improve your brain environment as working out can reduce harmful effects from stress, and affects dopamine and seratonin levels to improve your mood.
5. You’ll look awesome if you unexpectedly bump into your ex
Well, maybe not right after you’ve been working out… But in any other situation, it can’t hurt to have that confidence boost of being fitter, stronger and healthier than when you last saw each other.
6. It’ll help you regain a sense of control
If the relationship ending wasn’t your decision, things can start to feel overwhelming. But exercise is just about you, and it’s something you alone can control – so enjoy it and take solace in that.
7. It can help expend anger and aggression
You may have strong urges to introduce your ex’s windscreen to a hammer, but save that energy for the gym. Great anger-abating exercises are hitting punch bags and medicine ball slams where maximum levels of aggression are encouraged. Being high intensity, you’ll burn loads of calories, and be less likely to get arrested.
8. It can help you sleep
Recovering from a break-up can make it hard to turn your brain off at night. Studies show a link between regular exercise and improved sleep quality – just make sure you’re not working out too late in the evening if you want to nod off.
9. Setting and reaching new goals will give you a sense of achievement
So often when a relationship ends, people are left with a bruised ego and a feeling of failure. If you set yourself some achievable goals – be it completing a 5k or finally getting the guts to no longer hide at the back of spin class – you’ll feel like a total winner when you reach them.
10. It’s a way to meet new people and make friends
Conquer heartbreak by surrounding yourself with friends – be they old or new. Joining a new sports club, run club or even gym class, is a great opportunity to meet people with a shared interest. And as for the friends you already have, getting them involved presents new bonding experiences.
11. It gives you an opportunity to think things through
Exercise can be a form of escapism, but quieter pursuits can also give you the space to process your thoughts. Running, swimming and yoga all provide quiet, solitary time where you can make plans, and systematically sort through problems – all with the help of rose-tinted workout-induced endorphins.
12. You need to look after yourself right now
Keeping fit and healthy is great, but make sure you’re not using exercise as a way to punish yourself. It’s about looking after yourself and aiding the healing process. It should be fun!
Go to yoga to be calm, stretch your muscles and take a moment to be thankful; run or cycle through the prettiest routes you know; jump around in the gym class that plays the music you love. Make it all a treat, and you’ll soon forget the ex. You were too good for them anyway!
So, what do we offer?
Endings are invitations for a new beginning. If you have something you’ve always wanted to do, create or share, now’s the time to do it. The best creations were born out of a seeming loss. This website is one of them.
Sigh… it’s just so good.
Like rose oil this baby is great for protecting your heart in a strong yet gentle way. Put it under your pillow while you sleep, on your bedside table, on your window sill, on your desk at work, get a rose quartz pendant to hang near your heart. When anyone of my friends goes through a dark night of the soul, rose quartz is one of the first things I give them.
Write a list of all the things that are awesome about you. At the top of the page write “[insert name here]’s Lovables”. Number 1-20 and fill it out. Read your Lovables daily. Especially when doubting or feeling sorry for yourself.
Go to sleep with the warm light of electronic candles, fairy lights glowing and three drops of lavender essential oil on your pillow. Don’t forget to stretch out and delight in all of that extra space.
Agree on a set time for you and your ex to cease all contact. 6 months is a good amount of time to rediscover yourself individually from them. If you plan on being friends again you’ll both need time apart to redefine the energy and give your future friendship its best shot.
Your soundtrack to this part is Beyonce’s To the left, to the left
Physical objects hold energetic ties and if you are wanting to move on, you don’t want that stuff in your space. As hard as it is, give your whole house (especially the bedroom) an overhaul. Chuck out whatever does not make you feel good and anything that makes you miss the relationship. Cut those cords, babes. It might be hard, but it’s easier than holding on.
We are pack animals, we are not meant to go at it alone. When a relationship ends one of the things we lose is the constant human touch. When your friends and family ask you what they can do, instead of answering ‘nothing’, ask them for a hug. It makes a difference. If you can’t think of anyone to hug, hang out with a kid and ask them for one. They give the best hugs ever!
Buy yourself a ring that symbolizes the love you have for yourself, or hope to have with yourself. You could even write vows to yourself and your healing. Think of it as a union with your soul. A-freaking-men!
The fact of the matter is that when you are in mourning, there is nothing that anyone can do to make it better. But they can make you a cup of tea or dinner, or watch Sister Act 1 and 2. Don’t deny them that gift, let them hang and look after you.
Transform your heartbreak into higher love with the power of meditation. My Sourcing meditation (get a free copy here) is brilliant for this as it lets you be cradled and loved up by The Universe. And who doesn’t need a bit of cradling.
The secret blessing about breakups is that they are actually an invitation to work on the most important relationship you will ever have… The relationship with yourself. Take yourself to dinner, the movies or cook yourself your favourite meal. Learn to enjoy your own company. If you do, everyone else will too.
Remember that you are awesome…
becoming even more awesome and that the way you feel now will not last forever. This is just the bit that comes before things get amazing. The kinder and more true to yourself you are now, the better it will be in the end. If it’s difficult, at least you know that your soul is growing and that you’re becoming even stronger than before. You can do this.
About the author
Rebecca Campbell is author of the new Hay House book Light Is The New Black: A Guide to Answering Your Soul’s Callings and Working Your Light. She is a grounded intuitive spiritual mentor, practical intuitive guide, inspirational speaker and teacher. She writes every week over at her website and teaches regularly in London.