How to be a player

Every man at some point in his life has dreamed of becoming the legendary “player” – the man who has the abundant choice of women. In today’s day and age, so many resources are available on how to become a player. So why aren’t there more men out there with the women they want?

The first thing to understand is that many men believe that the ability to be a player is something that you have or something you don’t. It is something innate to them and since they don’t “have it”, they’re simply going to have to settle for what comes their way.

As players-to-be, you know that this is not true. Rid yourself of this limiting belief now and understand that it is possible to learn how to pick up women with consistency. You have the knowledge at your fingertips and as a man, you have the ability to transform yourself into one with limitless options.

Becoming a Player

Now the road is not an easy one. Think of all the masters out there you know, the experts in their respective fields. I’m talking about the Michael Jordans and the Donald Trumps. These people did not reach where they are overnight – they had successes and losses and kept on going regardless of the outcome. They learned from their experiences and ensured that they did not repeat their mistakes. You must do the same to become the player. Put yourself out there and see how your different tactics work. Yes, you will suffer some harsh interactions there but don’t take it personally – all failure is just feedback after all. As you acquire more reference experiences, you will begin to naturally calibrate your game based on the situation. Read how to keep going when life gets tough.

You’re probably getting excited at the prospect of becoming a player. However, few of you will actually be willing to put yourself out in the line of fire on consistent basis. Now, if that were a part of who you are, it would be far easier to do, wouldn’t it? This is why you must routinely meet and interact with women. You must make it a habit. (Start by reading how to talk to girls)

Decide now what it is that you want to make a habit. Perhaps it’s going out three nights a week. Perhaps it’s saying “hi” to women you want to meet. Whatever it is, make sure it is something you can do on a regular basis. Don’t know where to go, well we have an article on where to meet attractive women.

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The next thing to do is to do it. Don’t make any excuses – just do it. The hardest step is actually going out there and doing it. Feeling a bit sick? Well go out anyways and talk for a bit. Not dressed up for a club? Who cares, your clothes are not what are getting you laid – you are. Have shopping bags? Big zit on your face? Too sleepy? There are hundreds of excuses that you can come up with to prevent you from going out, especially when you’re just starting to implement a habit. Don’t fall into this trap – push yourself to do what it is that you said you’d do. As time passes, it will become almost automatic and eventually you’ll have this new habit implemented in you, making it a part of who you are.

There is one more thing that separates the champs from the chumps and it is this: the love of the game itself. I can hear what you’re thinking – “I don’t care about the game, I just want to sleep with lots of women!”

Guys, if sex were your ultimate goal in all this, you could easily hire an Angelina look-a-like for the night. Your reasons for getting into the game may be very different from each other but ultimately the goal is never as sweet as one expects it to be. More often than not, once you reach the level you want to be at, you find yourself thinking “now what?”

If you learn to love the journey you’re taking, you lose the attachment you have to any specific outcome. Find the fun in seeing how what you say causes the girl to react. Pull her into your vibe and show her a good time, while at the same time learning more about yourself from her. When you love the game, it is no longer a chore to meet women – rather, it is a joy and passion you have.

The road to become a player is not an easy one. It requires great inner strength, determination and passion. Yet if you have that, you are almost guaranteed the success you desire. Know that what you choose to pursue is achievable, be consistent in your pursuit of your goal and above all, love every step of this epic journey you have embarked on.

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The Qualities of an A Player

What qualities make an A Player immediately stand out?

Some qualities that immediately stand out for an A Player are as follows:  accountability for results and integrity.  Pay attention to the meetings you are in over the next week and notice how many employees and managers make excuses for missing goals, or do not take ownership or accountability for solving a problem.  This is why the characteristics of A Players are so important.  The A Players are also scrupulous in their integrity.  Many people say one thing and then never follow through (or worse yet, tell a lie).  A Players, on the other hand, have integrity— they consider someone not following through on their commitment as dishonest behavior.

“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.” -John Wooden

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Don’t Blame or Make Excuses

I love your “line of choice” image. When a leader sees someone falling into the trap of blaming and making excuses, what does she do to get the player back on track? 

In our cultures everyone is trained on The Line of Choice.  They’ll politely call out their teammate and ask, “Isn’t that comment below the line?” or “What does an above-the-line response look like?”  Or they’ll use the ABC vernacular and ask, “What would an A Player say?” or “That sounds a lot like B Player talk to me.”

Copyright Rick Crossland. Used by permission. Copyright Rick Crossland. Used by permission.

How to Motivate an A Player

What motivates an A Player?

One thing great about A Players is the leader does not have to motivate them.  In fact, they are self-motivated.  A Players truly work for passion.  They find purpose in the process itself.  They are not coin operated.  They focus on satisfying customers, making better products, and you know what? The money follows!  In fact it flows much more freely than if they had focused on the money.

“A Players are self-motivated, work for passion, and find purpose in the process itself.” -Rick Crossland

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Create an A Player Culture

What does an A Player culture look and feel like? 

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An A Player culture looks and feels like the great place to work that it is.  It’s a place where people have great attitudes and produce great results.  It’s a place where great employees crave to be in the presence of other high performers.   It’s also a place where goals are set and beat, and then success is celebrated as a team.

How do you actually implement an A Player culture at an organization?

It starts with a pledge that everyone on the team is committed to be an A Player.  A Player performance is then defined for the organization in four specific ways:

  1. Understanding and holding people accountable to the lead measures that drive success.
  2. Outlining and sharing the financial measures that create abundance for the business and the team.
  3. Defining what A Player performance looks like for each and every position.
  4. Specifying the attitudes and behaviors of an A Player.

The A Player has three chapters dedicated to financial acumen.  Why do you place such emphasis on the financials? 

Actually for quite a few reasons!  It is very hard to play any sport well and not keep score.  The same is true with business.  The financials are the “score” of the business. Once you start keeping score, business becomes even more interesting and exciting.  In most businesses, people are sequestered from the profit numbers for the most part.  Also, in many cases, they are not taught the lead measures or drivers that move the needle in a positive way.

When people get line of sight to the financials and understand that a business needs healthy returns to grow, they get excited about how to contribute and add to the score.  As I like to say, “Financial results fund all of the things employees want.”

Do you want to be an A Player and consistently stand out and succeed? Subscribe for FREE to Leadership Insights to double down on your goals. You’ll also receive a FREE book on Servant Leadership AND a free webinar for a limited time.

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For more information, see:  The A Player: The Definitive Playbook and Guide for Employees and Leaders Who Want to Play and Perform at the Highest Level

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