How to attract a woman effectively: why traditional ways keep making us fail?
You watch movies and TV series and you have an image of what love should be. The harsh reality is pretty different, and the results are obvious: most men are pretty bad players in the seduction game.
The problem is that many boys think that in order to seduce a girl they need to be masters in very complicated love techniques and that the whole process requires a lot of tricks. In this way, men forget their goal (the woman) as they put all their efforts in establishing complicated plans, developing useless skills and misunderstanding the whole process.
If you are wondering how to seduce women, you must pay attention to what we are going to tell you. You just need simple but effective techniques, whether you want her to be the mother of your children or you just want a one night stand.
How to attract women with words
Self-confidence is your best seductive weapon
If you think that women prefer a six-pack abdomen and muscled arms instead of a confident man with whom they can talk for hours, you are completely wrong. Maybe you haven’t been gifted by nature with an absolute astonishing body and/or face, but you can win a lot if you develop other not-so-physical parts of yourself.
The most important thing when you are dealing with women is treating her with confidence and build a good and stable relationship. If you are capable of reaching her and earn her trust, you have done a lot of work already.
The thing that you must understand is that confidence multiplies your natural appealing towards women, while the lack of confidence has the opposite effect.
Don’t be a false lover
Intuition is something innate in girls. So let’s be clear: most of them can easily detect a fake person, especially an untrue man –unless they are blinded by love, which is not (still) the case. So, try to be original and do not use the typical pick-up lines such as Joey’s famous “How YOU doin’?”; “Excuse me, but I’m new in town; can I have directions to your place?”; or the number one “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”. She will immediately know your intentions and she will distrust you.
Be different and think about particular (and sincere!) ways of having a conversation with a lady.
Compliment her and she will give you what you want
This may seem contradictory to what we said before of being original, but it is not. If you say something nice to a girl, she can easily become interested on you. Women love to be admired by men (even if some of them don’t admit it), as long as they are sincere.
So, in order to make her happy, try to compliment her eyes, her smile or just let her know that you think she is really fun/adventurous/interesting/smart or whatever applies in your case.
But be careful and do not do it “too much”, as it would look false and pretentious: find the balance!
Make her laugh and you will discover more than you ever expected
Women do not respond to boring boys that only talk about one thing. They like to be happy, to laugh. So, if you see her smiling or laughing at you, she is probably falling in love with you: you are on the right path! This does not mean that you need to tell jokes all the time, just to entertain and be fun. Fun is your best tool in the seduction game.
Which topics should you talk about if you want to seduce girls?
If you have achieved a date with that especial girl, or you are just doing small talk at work or at college, you need to know in advance that some topics should be avoided, unless she likes them or you both agree:
- Controversial topics, such as politics or religion, can lead to hard arguments and can easily spoil your first date.
- You, you, you and only you. You can talk about yourself, of course, but try to make her important. Egocentric boys don’t last too much…
- Very intimate issues, such as virginity, or how many people she has slept with… You can make her really uncomfortable.
- Your ex-lovers, especially if you still miss your ex-girlfriend! It is not fair for your date to listen about your love problems or to be constantly compared to your previous partner.
- Money issues: how much she or you earn, which brands she uses to wear, how much did your car cost… You will look like you want to show off.
- Commitment and/or kids: do you want to scare her?
- Maybe it is important for you and you may explain it in the future, but nobody wants to hear what your physical or emotional sufferings are on your first date!
And here there’s a list of topics you can talk about and have a great time in your conversation:
- Ambitions in life: your dreams or what do you want to reach in your career or in your life in general. Show her your illusions and ask for her objectives, you may be closer than you think.
- Friends: talking about funny anecdotes can make you both laugh and have a good time, but it also will show her how important your friends are to you –and her friends to her, of course!
- Family: it is important to talk about this because it shows a lot of the other person’s personality: it is not the same someone who spends every Saturday watching movies with her niece that a person who doesn’t have any relationship with his/her parents. If you think she is not feeling ok with the topic, just change it!
- Travelling: which countries you both have been or which ones do you want to go can be perfect topics for those uncomfortable silences.
- “This reminds me that time when….” – you can use that start for explaining anecdotes that happened in the past and may result funny or curious for the other part.
- Shared hobbies: maybe you met her in a gamer’s online forum or through a cinema association of your neighborhood. You should enjoy talking about what you both love, your passions!
How to seduce a girl only with your body language
The importance of your eyes
If you avoid her when she is looking at you, you will look insecure and immature, and she will probably lose interest on you. But, at the same time, you can scare her if you fix your eyes into hers. So, our advice is to find a good balance and keep eye contact without being creepy.
Your body position
Your body need to be open and welcoming to her. If you have your arms crossed in front of you, it creates an imaginary barrier between you and the woman you are trying to seduce, decreasing probabilities of intimacy with her. The same happens if you put something between you two, such as a glass or your own hands. You are keeping the distance!
If your shoulders and legs point towards an opposite direction, it looks like you are avoiding her and you want to, somehow, “scape”. Again, that is not good.
When you are open to others, you are also more vulnerable, but you don’t risk, you don’t win, right? So try to have your hands on both sides, to look to the other person in the eye and show all your charismatic potential.
Control your nerves!
Yes, this is a difficult one, as we cannot always control our body: we can sweat, shake, increase our heart rate, stammer and say stupid things all at the same time. But here there are some tips to control your body as much as you can:
- Control your breathing, as it can make all your other parts to be calm and quiet. Take deep slow breaths before going to talk to her.
- Try to see her as just a friend so you can talk about anything in a comfortable way. She is a human, and not a goddess!
- You need to convince yourself that you can get what you want: think positive and try to say it out loud in front of the mirror. Yes, you can!
Best advice on how to seduce girls
You need to smartly avoid the “friendzone”
Ok, you need to earn her trust, to make her feel comfortable around you… but be careful! She may see you as a friend, or even worse, as a big brother!! Besides all that we talked about before, there is a thing that cannot be discussed: that girl needs to be sexually attracted to you. This is one of the most difficult obstacles that you can find in the way of seducing a woman.
If you forget to create a physical attraction from her and you are way too nice, you are leading all your efforts towards a friendship and nothing else. If you want her in your bed at night and not just a kiss on the cheek, take this into account.
And please, do not make the big mistake of treating girls in a bad way. On the contrary, you need to give the best of you without looking desperate for love and lonely.
Some tips on how to physically attract women:
- Personal hygiene is essential: a good smell is very important to attract her.
- Dress nice, without changing your style –you can look fake and uncomfortable. Clean and neat clothes are basic.
- Take care of your hair, it needs to be clean, not greasy and your haircut can be simple, but carefully treated. Same happens with your beard! (try to figure out if she likes them or not)
- Try to keep your body healthy.
Create an emotional bond
It does not matter if she is an old friend or you’ve just met her. If you want to know how to seduce girls, it is necessary to establish an emotional bond. With this, we don’t mean that you are looking to marry her, but it is true that even for just one-night stand, a girl needs some kind of connection.
How to emotionally connect with women
Nobody knows what is going inside every girl’s mind, but there are some common points that women share and are important to know in order to understand female psychology and get the best results on how to seduce and attract women:
- Let her clearly know that you love being with her, spending time together and having a great time.
- Pay attention to what she says and don’t forget little details. She needs to feel important!
- Have a good conversation, making her laugh and having a good attitude (see our previous sections about “How to attract women with words” and “How to seduce a girl only with your body language” in this same article)
- Adapt to every situation. It is not the same how to attract a girl in a pub on a Saturday night, that at home after a date or on your way to the office.
Make plans, take risks and be patient
Do not ever let destiny to decide for you: you need a seduction plan. You need to think about what you are going to dress, where are you going to have dinner together, what are you going to say, how to control your nervousness, which compliments you can say to her and every little detail.
Planning doesn’t mean you need to lie to her or play dirty tricks. Sincerity is very important, but you need to be prepared and do your best as if you were taking an exam or you need to do a presentation for your boss to get a promotion. Overall, you need to look self-confident.
Women fall in love slower than men, so be ready to be rejected one or more times before she says yes to a date or any other proposal. You’ll need to risk, fail and try again. It is not easy, but it is really worthy!
How to attract a girl: DON’TS
Harassment = disaster
We understand that when you have a crush on a girl you would like to spend as much time as you can with her, but this can lead to being seen as a creepy stalker, so avoid it at all costs. You need to give the woman her space: as we told you before, it takes more time for them to fall in love.
Not being with her all the time gives mystery to the relationship, as she will miss you and look for you. Just wait. You need to be charming and very nice, but not excessively, as it can be overwhelming (in a bad way).
Try to know her, but do not interrogate her, and please, don’t ask very intimate details. She will tell them when she feels comfortable!
Don’t trick her
As said before, women can see if you are being false far in advance. And maybe you get to fool her, but anyways, it won’t last and it is not very nice. Play a clean game, use healthy techniques and try to understand what they think, feel and like.
As we have seen in many movies during all our lives, many men lie to women in order to get them in their beds. And maybe, only maybe, they achieve their purpose, but, don’t you think it is not fair for her?
Anyways, nobody likes to be cheated ad no one likes lies, nor women or men. Remember: don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want to be done to you.
Do not try to buy her
She is not an object, and she doesn’t have a price. Of course, there are many girls attracted to money, a good car and a good job, but is that the kind of girl you want to attract? Do you have money, an awesome car and a good job?
It is always nice to receive little presents to celebrate an especial occasion, or just for no reason. But don’t try to buy her very expensive things with no personal meaning. If you want to give her something, do not think about the economic value, try to be meaningful. For that, you need to listen to her carefully and you’ll know things she liked in her childhood, her favorite author or the kind of music she loves to listen to.
Even if your intentions are good (we have no doubt about it), giving excessively expensive presents to women make you look insecure and manipulative. A girl can interpret this in the wrong way: for example, you invite her to a luxurious dinner and she thinks you want something back. There are two options after this: she will run away and never come back OR she will come back only for your money.
She is important, but she is not the only one
You need to care for her, be nice, pay attention… but don’t think as she is unique in the whole world. She will probably find you very easy to get, leading in a non-desired indifference from her to you. Never abandon your friends or family for a girl, as they will always be there for you –something that she cannot promise at all.
Also, never express your feelings for her too soon. Nevertheless to say that you MUST never say “I love you” in your first, second or third date. Don’t rush things, go with the flow and see what is going on. Wait for her signals to do a step forward before you make a huge mistake.
You cannot convince her to love you
Let’s say that you have tried everything, followed every advice, you have planned, you have taken risks and you keep failing in seducing that woman. Well, you need to know that you cannot force feelings, and maybe she is just not attracted to you and she will never be.
It can happen for many reasons: she may be happy with another man, she may not find you attractive, she sees you as a friend, or you are just not what she is looking for. Don’t try to convince her that you are a good man, her perfect choice.
It doesn’t matter that you promise her that you’ll love her more than anyone. If she doesn’t feel the same, that won’t change with your pleading. Logic and rationality don’t play any part here. You cannot change her mind. Why don’t you try with another girl? Maybe the love of your life is waiting for you!